Left Behind: The Story of My Life. LOL!!!!!

Hi All,

Kat and Vivian here bringing you the chuckles through the point of view of single Christian females (SCF). This post's victim is NY Times Bestseller, the Left Behind series.

Both of us have read the majority of these books written by Blah-Blah and Google It yourself (both great authors ;) The reason why this old book came back into focus is that someone Kat was dating texted her this literary gem to give her a Valentine's Day smile. Needless to say the passage made us both fall out of our chairs laughing (literally)! Besides the clear 'Mary Sue' that is Buck, we also have his beyond perfect future wife Chloe discussing their, "sexual experience or lack there of."

Now for the break-down:

Buck kicked-off this excerpt with a classic humble-brag. "I'm so great at everything except I haven't had sex, because reasons," is basically what he says.  It would have been a tragedy if the authors mentioned something Buck is ashamed of without mentioning his many accomplishments in the very same sentence. Ahead of your time in every other area huh?! Except you were left behind!

Let's read on... Chloe takes in his sentiment and strokes his ego by saying not only is he accomplished, but God has also had a hand in his happening to be a virgin. Really? Do you expect us to believe that a person would respond to Buck like Chloe does in any reality besides the alternate reality that is in author's mind? Buck, of course, agrees with Chloe because he is obviously acting like a narcissist. He then adds that he didn't have to deal with all the diseases and "emotional stuff" that comes with an intimate relationship. Oh boy Buck, you really dodged a bullet there! After hearing Buck talk about sex it is a wonder why anyone would ever want to have it at all... except they do! Notably absent from his reasons not to have sex was the risk of knocking someone up, but maybe that was included in the "emotional stuff" category?

Buck, unlike any man we have ever met, is noticeably uncomfortable talking about s-s-s-sex with an attractive woman who is obviously into him. He starts to turn bright red and nervously rubs the back of his neck. Really, why would someone who has been alive for thirty years be as uncomfortable as a twelve year old when talking about this subject?

Ever the saint, Chloe comforts Buck and then asks him if he would like to hear about her, "Sexual experience or lack there of." Buck of course continues to act like a middle schooler and refuses to hear more on the subject of s-s-s-sex (giggle). He is behind the times of his generation with the art of holding a conversation. You don't just unload a bunch of crap on someone, and then when they want to talk to you about something, flat-out deny them.

Chloe insists that he continue the conversation by telling him that it might be something he would want to know in the future. Buck's ego then kicks-in because now he can see why her life might pertain to him, so he allows her to continue talking to him. He also admires how comfortable she is with the subject of s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-sex (giggle, screech faint). Buck continues the sensitive conversation about a person's sexual history in the most insensitive doltish way ever, by shrugging his shoulders! We'll tell you what, he's lucky it's the apocalypse! The only reason Chloe is still talking to him is because there really aren't many choices left (behind).

For some reason Chloe continues to talk to him, probably because she is a bot and not a real human. She admits she has had boyfriends in high school and her freshman year of college but, they did not have sex! What?! Chloe is a virgin too!!! NO WAY! Record scratch!! Drop the mic! Buck sure is a luck SOB. This is certainly a revelation so outrageous that no one would ever believe it. Two really really extremely good looking people, who remained virgins for no real reason at all, became Christians during the Apocalypse and somehow found each other! From the sound of it, the only thing they had to struggle with was being embarrassed.

In all seriousness, how should those of us who have painstakingly waited to have sex take this? Being a virgin is not something that you can easily trip and fall into. It is intentional. Stories like this don't really encourage us who are fighting the good fight. If anything, they do the opposite. They negate to acknowledge the realities that we face everyday. There are enough stigmas outside of the Christian sub-cultural surrounding chastity that we have to contend with, please do not add insult to injury by producing fiction like this because you do not want to have a real conversation about s-s-s-s-sex. Ignoring sexual culture alienates us even more than we already are by society. No thanks. You can keep your books.

We would love to hear what you think on the subject and welcome any other contributions that you might have. Thanks for reading! Subscribe to our blog for more adventures in dating.