Top 5 Hilarious, and Life Changing Stories

Hi Everyone,

Vivian and Kat here bringing you the chuckles through the point of view of single Christian females. This post's victim is no one... unless you hate funny stories!

We feel it's important to stop and think about all the hilarious moments in life that shape who you are. Together we racked our brains to come up with some funny and life changing moments in life, and guess what, they have nothing to do with singleness! We are more than just singles, there are lots of other hilarious things that can shape who you are and we are here to celebrate that. These are five stories from Vivian's that just goes to show how the little things can make a big impact.

1. The Infamous Backwards B

"What's the big deal about a backwards B?" you ask while licking cheese dust off your fingers. Set your Cheetos down and let me tell you a tale of a lifelong struggle. It's a pretty common thing for 5 year olds to mix up their letters, right!? Most parents think it's cute... not my mom.

For her, it's a sure sign of DYSLEXIA!! (not that anything's wrong with that, jerks)

You would (correctly) assume that a parent who thought their child had a learning disability would intervene as soon as the signs began to manifest themselves. WRONG!! It was long after I had graduated from high school when my mom decided to break the news. Out of the blue she announced to the entire family:

I am dyslexic, your dad is dyslexic and Vivian is also dyslexic.

Hold the phone! When did any of us become dyslexic, and why did she wait twenty years to say anything?! The worst part was when my dad agreed with her:

I'm for sure dyslexic and dyslexia runs in the family.

What on earth drove them to this surprise revelation? The infamous backwards B. Apparently you write a few backwards Bs in kindergarten and it haunts you for the rest of your life.

2.  A Chicken Named Goliath

I was raised on a farm by hippies. Now on this farm we had some chickens E-I-E-I-O.

One of the meanest chickens we ever owned was a rooster named Goliath. The thing was yuge, with white feathers and a bright red comb on top. This bird wasn't afraid of nothing, yo! He would strut around scaring the living daylights out of my sister, Rachel and me.

On a bright and sunny day Rachel and I were enjoying our backyard sandbox, when all of the sudden, BAM here comes Goliath! Cock-a-doodle-do bi**hes!

Cock-a-doodle-do Bi**h

At that moment everything else in the world began to melt away and it was just me and Goliath, looking right at each other, both waiting for the other to make the first move.

He tensed-up, ready to strike. I quickly grabbed the small plastic shovel that was lying in the sand in front of me and chucked it right at his head. It was true to it's mark and hit Goliath right in the temple leaving a red dent. It was a moment of Biblical proportions! Unlike the Goliath from the Bible, this foul bird took the blow in stride. We were out of shovels and in BIG trouble! The chicken closed in on us and we ran out of there faster than a black Friday rush on Walmart. Out of breath and fleeing for our lives a mighty worrier appeared.  Isac, my brother, defender of the weak, turned the tables and chased that devil straight to hell.

And that, my friends is why I will never feel bad about eating a chicken sandwich.

3.  Spider-man

Spider-man *swoon*...

For those of you who don't know who Spider-man is, here is a picture of him:

Hubba Hubba

One more:

My Spider sense is tingling wink* 

I guess it is painfully clear to everyone by now that I have a thing for Spider-man. I've had a crush on him ever since the premier of the 1994 t.v. show Spider-man: The Animated Series. To me, he was the perfect guy: funny, smart, athletic... but he was a cartoon, and at the time I was super embarrassed to have a crush on a drawing. All the other girls had crushes on real humans!

It wasn't until I was in high school that I finally told my friend that I had a huge crush on Spider-man. I thought she would think I was a weirdo, but to my surprise she did not! In fact she told me all about a whole world of geeky cool stuff that I never knew about before. Actually that's not entirely true my uncle liked to dress up like a Klingon, so I guess I knew about that, but for the most part she opened my eyes to a whole new world of discovery!

That is the origin story behind how I became a geek!

4.  Potato Salad

Growing up in my house, you had to learn to fend for yourself. My mom was one of seven kids and my dad was one of four, so needless to say there was little to no coddling in our household. My mom would constantly use phrases like it's gonna get worse before it gets better, tough toenails and like it or lump it whenever we complained about having to eat lentil soup for every meal. Far more often was something lumped rather than liked so this meant we would have to learn to cook or learn to starve. In the end my siblings and I learned a little of both.

With all this being said, it was not unusual for my sister and I to go into the kitchen (unsupervised) and make random recipes we found in a cookbook. On one particular occasion, we wanted to make something for a picnic to share with the rest of the family. We looked through the cook book and found a recipe for potato salad. At this point we were still pretty young, so we had never tasted potato salad before. The list of ingredients seemed strange and gross to us. Potatoes and mayonnaise? You gotta be kidding me!

GROSS!

We really didn't know how it would taste, but we couldn't imagine a scenario in which the ingredients listed could come together to make anything that was remotely delicious. In the end we decided that even though it was gross, the rest of our family would probably like it. We choose to make it, but not eat it ourselves. We started by washing and pealing a bunch of potatoes over a full garbage can. More often than not the slippery potatoes would slide out of our hands and into the trash. This would cause us to laugh and say, "I'm glad I'm not eating this stuff!" We also found it tough to get all of the bits of shell off the boiled eggs we put in the salad, but again we weren't eating it so who cares?

When the salad was finished, my sister and I couldn't wait to laugh at the fools who would be eating this sloppily made potato salad. Then someone, I think it was my sister suggested we try just a little piece of it, just to see what it was like. Giggling and holding our noses we both took a bite. It was actually good! Who could have known?! In the end we ended up eating a whole lot of potato salad.

How did this change my life? I will never judge a recipe before I taste it ;-P

5.  A Baby Shrew

Growing up on the farm we always had a lot of cats, or more accurately kittens. My parents would let my siblings and I raise them. When they were old enough my parents would exchange them to the pet store for bags of cat food. We loved the kittens and would spend hours laying in the sun with them all in a big pile. My brother named it the cat clan. Our parents didn't much care for cats, and my mom would tell us stories about how my grandpa (who was also farmer) would take a sack full of kittens and drown them in water. Sad!

Kawai!!

One day my sister and I were came across our mama cat teaching the baby kittens how to catch a shrew. The mama had injured the shrew in order for the kittens to have a better chance at capturing it. Of course when my sister and I saw this, we decided that we would rescue the poor little shrew from our cats and nurse it back to health. We ran into the house and put on gardening gloves and whisked the shrew away to a safe place in our barn. We made it a little bed made out of straw and filled an old eyedropper full of milk to feed with. The next day the shrew was doing a lot better but it still had trouble moving. we had our gloves on again and attempted to feed it with the eyedropper. Unlike the day before the shrew seemed pretty ungrateful. It ate the milk but it bit hard into our gardening glove. At that point we knew the evil little shrew would have bitten our hand off if we didn't have gloves on. My sister and I scooped it up and feed it to our cats who were very grateful for the treat, and that was the end of the shrew. We left the eyedropper full of milk on the front porch and forgot about it.

One day everyone in our house was startled to hear a "EEEEYAAOOOO!!!" coming from the front porch. Everyone in our family rushed to see what was the matter. My brother was standing in the front porch holding his eye. Apparently he had mistaken the eyedropper full of milk we left there weeks ago for an eyedropper full of well... eye drops! We started cracking up, but my brother was really mad at us! Sorry Isac!!!

How did it change my life? Not mine too much, but my brother will never use eye drops he finds on the porch again :)

Our Calling to Singles!

Being single is an undeniably huge influence in our personal lives, but it's not the only thing that shapes our identity. God has a good sense of humor, and uses it wisely to direct our paths. A chicken named Goliath, dyslexia (or lack thereof), and Spider-man are among the lesser-known hilarities that change our lives forever. They are the silly things that make us who we are, because it is always good to remember that we more than just singles. We are each and every one of us, fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14).

Leave a comment with one of your own life changing stories.

Thanks for reading!

-Kat and Vivian